Man Tells Girlfriend He Can't Be a Parent Because She Won't Let Him

Chifundo
A man and woman walking while holding hands.
Unsplash | Caleb Ekeroth

A man has been raising his girlfriend's child since day one but now she won't let him parent. She doesn't let him use common parenting methods and undermines everything he tries to do. The kindergarten teachers have already complained about behavior issues and suggested they have the child evaluated, but the girlfriend is actively preventing him from carrying out the specialist's advice.

He suggested therapy but she doesn't see a problem. The man is at his wit's end and broke when he overheard his girlfriend tell their child that he "still needs to earn the parent title". Now he's accused of trying to abandon their child. Who's in the wrong here?

Dad raises child with girlfriend but is not the biological parent.

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Struggling with partner's overprotectiveness while parenting? 😕

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Parenting expectations not aligned, causing conflict 😔

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Doting father or irresponsible parent? 🤔

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Struggling with girlfriend's parenting approach, affecting child's behavior.

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Struggling to communicate with partner and child? 🤔 Try therapy.

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Man struggles to earn 'parent title' due to girlfriend's restrictions 😔

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Struggling father admits fault, faces consequences for communication issues 😔

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Her commitment issues led to a unique parenting decision 👶

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Couple chooses donor sperm together to avoid passing on toxicity.

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Grateful for commenters' input on tough parenting decision ❤️

throwaway_angrypie | throwaway_angrypie

Can he be a parent if she won't let him?

What happens when a partner who has been raising a child together with his girlfriend realizes he can't parent the child anymore? This is the dilemma one man is facing after his girlfriend won't let him use common parenting methods like setting boundaries, natural consequences, and discipline.

Despite attending parenting classes and workshops before having the child, the girlfriend has thrown all that out the window and refuses to listen to a specialist's advice. The child's behavior has become an issue, and the man is at his wit's end. He suggested therapy, but the girlfriend refused, and now he overheard her say he still needs to earn the parent title.

This situation has left the man feeling like he's let the child down. Is he the a**hole for telling his girlfriend he can't be the child's parent because she won't let him? Read on to find out what people have to say about this.

Leave her and get a lawyer for custody. NTA, take care.

cynicaesura | cynicaesura

NTA for wanting to raise the child properly despite not being the biological father. GF needs to agree to counselling or it's over. 🙅‍♂️

These-Entertainment3 | These-Entertainment3

Commenter suggests reporting neglectful mother to social services for parenting classes

Ihoperslashseesme | Ihoperslashseesme

NTA. Consider legal rights. Let her parent alone. 👍

Night_Owl_26 | Night_Owl_26

Partner used donor sperm without consent, NTA for feeling trapped.

spacegal777 | spacegal777

NTA. The commenter advises to cut losses and move on.

makeshiftmarty | makeshiftmarty

Believing you can be a parent won't make it true 🤷‍♀️

Spirited_Bill_8947 | Spirited_Bill_8947

GF's commitment issues are causing a toxic environment for all ✨

[deleted] | [deleted]

👍 NTA, it's unfair for the girlfriend to undermine the partner's role.

Silver_Shattering | Silver_Shattering

Commenter frustrated with illogical argument in parenting disagreement 🤯

maireadbhynes | maireadbhynes

Hilarious comparison to The Office's Michael and Jan situation 😂

[deleted] | [deleted]

Communication is key! 🗣️ Have an open and honest conversation.

[deleted] | [deleted]

Respect is key 🔑. Cut ties and run far away!

[deleted] | [deleted]

Escape that toxic relationship! 🚪👋

whateverisnttaken22 | whateverisnttaken22

NTA communicates respectfully, evaluates boundaries and considers child's feelings ❤️

Parking-Ad-9344 | Parking-Ad-9344

GF accused of raising a monster 👹

Johnny-Fakehnameh | Johnny-Fakehnameh

🤔 Clarifying the sperm donor situation for the child's ownership.

Silver_Shattering | Silver_Shattering

Leave or stay and suffer? Tough love for spineless partner.

TheMidnightMemer | TheMidnightMemer

NTA: Relationship over, you're just a roommate. 😞

GLASYA-LAB0LAS | GLASYA-LAB0LAS

Parenting is a verb, and GF isn't doing it either 💁‍♂️

ThatWolfWriter | ThatWolfWriter

Commenter calls out YTA for staying with commitment-phobic girlfriend.

Jpaul95 | Jpaul95

User advises to move on and find a new family. 💔

MandyKagami | MandyKagami

When being a sperm donor turns into being trapped forever 😬

LittleReader7 | LittleReader7

Commenter judges harshly, but is NTA for calling out behavior.

BigBacon87 | BigBacon87

NTA. Harsh truth. It's time to move on.

HollowValentyne | HollowValentyne

GF accuses man of abandoning child he's not even considered parent. 😡

ohgnome | ohgnome

Commenter questions the motive behind the scheme with frustration 😕🤔

kitt3nfarts | kitt3nfarts

Find someone who wants you to be a dad 🥳

[deleted] | [deleted]

Commenter criticizes man for staying in unhealthy relationship with non-biological child

Chalkun | Chalkun

Support for not being taken advantage of in parenting duties 🙌

[deleted] | [deleted]

🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️ Run fast! Undermining parenting skills won't help the child. NTA

Educational-Friend47 | Educational-Friend47

Commenter questions commitment issues and decision-making in relationship.

disapointment_potato | disapointment_potato

Seize the loophole and run towards a happier future 🏃‍♀️

Justmonika96 | Justmonika96

Respect is key to a healthy relationship and co-parenting 👏

MayanRainbow84 | MayanRainbow84

Escape while you can! 🚪

TheBaddestPatsy | TheBaddestPatsy

OP is in an emotionally abusive relationship. It's time to leave. 💔

n8673219 | n8673219

Leave toxic relationship, go to counseling, find healthy partner 🚪❤️👪

Shejuan01 | Shejuan01

User believes girlfriend is immature and only wants financial support 💰

Mindless_Prior_6785 | Mindless_Prior_6785

Harsh reality check: You're not her partner, just a housemate 💔🏠

Double_Reindeer_6884 | Double_Reindeer_6884

OP's girlfriend won't let him be a parent. Is it over? 💔

jillianleemonroe | jillianleemonroe

NTA for wanting to be a good parent and setting boundaries 👍

Wonderful-Resource14 | Wonderful-Resource14

10-year relationship, but control issues may end it. NTA.

stepha421 | stepha421

Commenter advises OP to cut their losses and bail 🏃‍♂️

farahad | farahad

Commenter supports OP's decision with thumbs up emoji

juiceboxfriend95 | juiceboxfriend95

Using donor sperm to have a child and then denying parenting. YTA for staying in this ridiculous situation.

chooch57 | chooch57

NTA but this situationship seems unhealthy and neglectful 😔

FlyingMacheteMonster | FlyingMacheteMonster

🚩 Beware! Red flags ahead in this shaky relationship 🚩

Squinky75 | Squinky75

Navigating parenthood in a rocky relationship. 🤔

Distinct-Confusion | Distinct-Confusion

Partner refuses parenthood, NTA suggests leaving toxic relationship.

Darrenizer | Darrenizer

10-year relationship questioned over trust issues with parenting 😢

bizianka | bizianka

🚨 Caution: Potential custody trap. Get everything in writing. 📝

Niith | Niith