A small disagreement between friends can quickly spiral out of control. In this case, a joke made by one friend towards the other was taken too far, leading to an uncomfortable car ride home. The friend in question made a remark about the other's behavior, to which he responded by saying that she wouldn't understand because she's a pretty white girl. Although he meant it as a joke, it was taken as an insult by his friend. After discussing it with his roommates, the poster is left wondering whether he was in the wrong for dismissing his friend's opinion. Read on to find out more about this situation and decide for yourself who was in the wrong.
Did I Cross The Line by Calling My Friend a 'Pretty White Girl'?
Unsplash | Quaid Lagan
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Did he cross the line with a 'pretty white girl' comment?
A young black man wonders if he offended his friend by referring to her as a 'pretty white girl.' His friend had joked about his pushover attitude towards a rude contractor, and he snapped back that she wouldn't understand. Was it a harmless joke or did he cross the line? Read on to find out more about this exchange and why it left the rest of the ride awkward and silent.
NTA. The comment and replies highlight the privilege of being a pretty white girl and the lack of understanding of the struggles of black men. The friend needs to check her privilege.
goldenblacktea | goldenblacktea
Black man defends himself against white fragility and microaggressions.
Aquariussun444 | Aquariussun444
The comment and replies shed light on the historical use of white women's tears and fragility against black men and women. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
millhouse_vanhousen | millhouse_vanhousen
Explaining the ramifications of a big black man getting angry 🙅♂️
keesouth | keesouth
Friend may have learned something about her privilege. NTA.
thatoneisthe | thatoneisthe
Pointing out privilege isn't offensive, NTA. 🙌🏾
Baraa_404 | Baraa_404
Educating friends on race: emotional labor or important? ESH.
UltraMegaSloth | UltraMegaSloth
Gender bias discussion highlights need for assertiveness among women. NTA.
LadybugMama78 | LadybugMama78
Encouraging response to personal growth 🌱
Mommy-Q | Mommy-Q
Being a POC is not a joke 😠 Important reminder.
cassowary32 | cassowary32
Commenter argues that both OP and friend are in the wrong, discusses white privilege.
[deleted] | [deleted]
The comment section discusses whether calling someone a 'pretty white girl' was offensive. While the original commenter thinks both parties were in the wrong, a reply points out the issue of invalidating someone's experiences based on their race.
BooPointsIPunch | BooPointsIPunch
The comment section debates if calling someone a 'pretty white girl' is racist or not. Some argue it's just an accurate description of privilege, while others find it demeaning. 🤔
Rain-Any | Rain-Any
Polite explanation not required, NTA for not tolerating disrespect 💁♀️
-Lexx- | -Lexx-
Commenter argues for intersectionality and against punishing a friend's identity.
Rare_Disaster7353 | Rare_Disaster7353
Commenter stands up for OP, declares NTA 🙌
Colourofsulfur | Colourofsulfur
Exploring the complexities of race, gender and privilege 💬
Gosutobani | Gosutobani
Curiosity arises as comment seeks more information 🤔
Raionmimi | Raionmimi
Be mindful of your words, they might hit a nerve 😬
mindbird | mindbird
Communication is key in any friendship 🤝
mmobley412 | mmobley412
An ESH situation where both parties should have shown restraint.
ChrissyKittyCat | ChrissyKittyCat
Friend thinks she's NTA for calling 'big black men' friends.
Wonderful_Horror7315 | Wonderful_Horror7315
Standing up to racism isn't wrong, NTA 🙌
Flynn_Kevin | Flynn_Kevin
Calling out racial tension: NTA for response 💪🏼👊🏼
Keluklump | Keluklump
Commenter calls out the use of race in argument, YTA.
Keqingisthedpsqueen | Keqingisthedpsqueen
Acknowledging differences in experiences and perspectives is important. 👍
WannaBeOptimist17 | WannaBeOptimist17
Acknowledging privilege: an important lesson for everyone. 🙏
Taleya | Taleya
A lighthearted joke turned racial, ESH with room for improvement 😕
sdlcur | sdlcur
Respect for standing up to ignorance and privilege 👏
RoundedError | RoundedError
Suggests a tactful response to friend's cultural blind-spot 👍
nazare_ttn | nazare_ttn
Insensitive or justified? NTA comment causes controversy 👀
jg700 | jg700
Exploring privilege and its obliviousness. 🤷♀️
Fritemare | Fritemare
OP dismissed friend's opinion and belittled her. YTA. 😒
Visassess | Visassess
Ignoring someone's valid criticism based on their race/gender? ESH 🙄
daddyslittleharem | daddyslittleharem
The thin line between truth and race card accusations 🤔
Bulky-Revolution9395 | Bulky-Revolution9395
Commenter called out for racist comment, doubles down. YTA 😒
SephoraRothschild | SephoraRothschild
Addressing race inappropriately caused a divide between friends 😕
meloettalover213 | meloettalover213
Standing up against racism, NTA was in the right 🙌
splootsaredabest | splootsaredabest
Confronting racism with reverse racism: a never-ending cycle? 🤔
mattsgirlca | mattsgirlca
Both sides could have handled it better. 🤷
georgialucy | georgialucy
Acknowledging different experiences isn't racist. NTA. 🤝
Skylarsthelimit | Skylarsthelimit
Support for calling out friend's naivety on racial issues 💪🏽
Other_Personalities | Other_Personalities
Being funny doesn't give anyone the right to be rude. #NTA 🙌
Sweet-Warthog2209 | Sweet-Warthog2209
Confronted with her own ignorance, a pouting white girl. 🤔
anassholeabroad | anassholeabroad
Being rude back doesn't justify childish behavior. 🙄
RoseGoldMinerva | RoseGoldMinerva
Race vs class debate sparks after 'pretty white girl' comment.
spacermoon | spacermoon
Acknowledging privilege: Discussion on understanding perspectives as a white person.
LavenderPearlTea | LavenderPearlTea
Confronting race-related discomfort, NTA receives validation from peers.
CantEatCatsKevin | CantEatCatsKevin
Friend made a joke, but OP snapped unreasonably. YTA. 🙄
Gravy245 | Gravy245
Confronting privilege and racism. Important reminder on systemic racism. ✊🏿
PlushieTushie | PlushieTushie
Sometimes the truth hurts 🤷♀️
FormalRaspberry9 | FormalRaspberry9
Call out privilege? NTA diplomatically corrects friend.
Wild_Pomegranate5772 | Wild_Pomegranate5772
You're in the clear, not the a**hole 🙌
[deleted] | [deleted]
Don't dismiss someone's race - YTA crossed the line.
Deep_Supermarket5878 | Deep_Supermarket5878
Embrace diversity, be a better friend. 👍
Appropriate_Speech33 | Appropriate_Speech33
