This Week's Roundup Of Twitter's Best And Funniest Tweets

Ashley Hunte
The Twitter logo etched in wood, with a wooden Twitter statuette on top of it.
Unsplash | Edgar Moran

Twitter is truly a goldmine of entertaining content. It's amazing how, every single day, people can constantly come up with random, hilarious tweets that keep us coming back for more.

Here are some pretty funny tweets that people posted over the past week or so. If these people set out to make people laugh, I'd say they accomplished their mission big-time.

Sugar is all of us every day of the week.

Let's be real, this is anyone who wants to try and avoid their daily obligations. At least for a little while. But I guess we can't all be as carefree yet selective as Sugar.

You mean you don't eat on the couch all day?

I'm glad I'm not the only person who doesn't eat at the table all the time. I guess for a lot of people, though, it's because they live in small apartments where they don't even have a table.

Actually, it sounds like most sitcoms.

I mean, there are plenty of sitcoms where this kind of thing would apply. But Jerry Seinfeld had, like, more than 70 girlfriends over the course of that show. So I guess this is a pretty fair thing to say.

Every wedding is actually the best wedding, it seems.

I mean, what else are you supposed to caption your wedding weekend photo dump? It's not like you can post a couple pictures and caption it "meh" or something like that.

This is exactly how everything is filmed.

Jokes aside, I actually used to think that drone shots were done by actual people somehow. So much of what we call "movie magic" actually felt like magic. But nope, just drones and cranes and stuff.

I am, in fact, not a robot.

Ah yes, a very normal affirmation indeed. Wake up, get in front of the mirror, and say stuff like, "I'm loved. I'm powerful. I'm not a robot. I will not destroy the world."

I mean... it's not wrong.

When you put it that way, it sounds both hilarious, and kind of gross. But that's also the most 2013 thing I've seen on the internet since, well, the actual year 2013. The good old days...

Can't get any simpler than that!

You know, this recipe is literally telling you to make a box of Cream of Wheat, using the instructions on the box, and yet I know there are a lot of people who would still manage to mess it up. Not naming any names (me).

"You're supposed to know that internet stuff!"

I think the next 20 years or so are gonna be really entertaining because we'll have a whole generation of young people who won't have to know all their parents' login info in case they forget.

"Your honor, I... sorry, I can't do this."

I feel like being a lawyer takes a special set of skills. Like not being able to cry when you're losing an argument. Or, not crying if you lose the case. Stuff like that.

Beyoncé can tell us to do anything and we'd do it.

No, I'm not going to quit my job. But if that is, in fact what Beyoncé wants us all to do... I'm gonna have to say, it's pretty tempting.

Phone anxiety? Never heard of it!

To be honest, as much as I hate phone calls, I'd rather call to schedule an appointment than do it through an email exchange. I guess it just depends on what kind of hell you prefer, though.

"In conclusion, it's important because it's important."

Raise your hand if you've written an essay like that. If you didn't raise your hand... I'm having a hard time believing you. Not reading the book and then doing an assignment on it is peak high school.

My favorite songs! But not THAT favorite song!

I think sometimes, you just get in the mood for a certain genre, and if your shuffle plays something else you just don't want to listen to it. But it's kind of funny how that happens to all of us basically.

Yeah, that was a pretty weird time, wasn't it?

I didn't like that "challenge" when it was a thing, and I don't like it now. People were literally breaking crates and falling through them for what? Internet points? Not worth it in my opinion.

Yup, been there, done that.

We all feel like this flat cat sometimes. In fact, I'm feeling a little bit like it right now. Maybe because it got really hot all of a sudden, or because the end of the work day is still so far away.

On what, you ask? Nothing, actually.

Look, work can get busy. Sometimes you say you're going to do something, and then get sidetracked by a million other things and it falls through the cracks. I'm totally not trying to make excuses or anything.

How can you go camping if you can't bring your kitchen with you?

I have to say, the convenience of being able to get or buy food whenever you want is definitely better than camping. But I guess some people don't mind that kind of stuff.

Father's day is for the moms!

I wonder if the kid knew it was Father's Day, or just assumed it was, like, a second Mother's Day or something. Or maybe this is a not-so-subtle hint at who their favorite parent is.

Ah yes, that's how it works.

To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if gas stations started putting up new signs with more decimal places thanks to these soaring gas prices. I really hope they don't do that, but anything's possible these days.