Waiter Asks If He’s The Jerk For Intentionally Messing Up Pregnant Woman’s Order

Specifically, the waiter took to Reddit's Am I The Asshole thread, which is essentially a page that moonlights as an asshat switchboard, where people of varying magnitudes of terrible go to "finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you."

Sure, there are some good people on there who have been unjustly maligned, but where is the fun in focusing on them?! And, this waiter's tasty story went down about as well as a salad at a steak house...or a salad anywhere, for that matter.

The waiter started their woeful tale by explaining that they have waited tables for three years. And, if this was an attempt to preemptively show that they have experience and therefore know better than everyone else, that gambit went about as well as a cheap hair transplant.

"During my shift last night, a group of four women in their late 20s came in. They were a pleasure to have as customers. They ordered four of our house cocktails to start with and then went over the menu for their entrees," they began.

"When I was on my way back to their booth with the drinks on a tray, I walked by the back side and overheard one of them talking about how she was 14 weeks along," they went on to write. "When I rounded back, they were talking about the same topic and it was clear to me that she was pregnant. I figured her having one drink wasn't a big deal. They ordered their entrees and I went off to handle other tables."

"About five minutes later, they called me over again and asked for another round."

They went on to explain that when they next went to the bartender to get the group's drinks, they asked the bartender to surreptitiously make one a non-alcoholic cocktail. They explained that the bartender was confused by this initially but, "since he's a good friend of mine, I told him to just trust me."

Apparently, this secretive switching of drinks continued for a few more rounds, and the group grew progressively rowdier, including the woman that the waiter suspected as pregnant. I mean, I say "suspected," but making largely unsubstantiated and illogical leaps of judgment doesn't exactly make you a genius ⏤ well, unless you're Robert Langdon from Dan Brown's novels.

The group had asked to split the bill, and our protagonist noticed that all of the "pregnant" woman's drinks had been marked with "virgin" ⏤ which means non-alcoholic for the uninitiated. The waiter claimed it was too late to change the receipt, and that they simply had to hope that she didn't notice, which she didn't...at first.

The group left a handsome tip and then left. However, the "pregnant" woman returned soon after.

"She blank stared me for a few seconds and then asked if she had ordered a non-alcoholic cocktail. I said no, but told her that I assumed she wanted one seeing as she was pregnant. It was a lame lie and I'll admit it, but she looked me in the eye and asked me to return her part of the tip. I did so. Then she talked to my manager. My manager took me into her office and literally shrieked at me until hoarse."

The waiter told their boss that they would not be responsible for fetal alcohol syndrome. However, they went on to say, "[My manager] told me that she was taking me off the calendar until she decided what to do with me. She also informed me that I could get the restaurant in serious trouble for discrimination, and upon examination of my state's laws, she is correct."

Finally, they ended their strange tale of assumptions and hero-complexes by saying that they had told their parents about the situation and that their mother and father thought that they were right ⏤ parents always being the most impartial moral arbiters ⏤ but they wanted other opinions.

Every person and their dog, their cat, and even the little insects that live on their pets' fur seemingly had an opinion on this story. And, the most resounding response was that, yes, they were indeed an asshole!

Most people took exception to the fact that this waiter had no way of knowing what "14 weeks along" was referring to! With one of the top comments being:

"YTA 14 weeks along doesn't have to mean she's pregnant, she could've been 14 weeks along in a fitness program, her new job, her new relationship, therapy, etc. And virgin drinks are far less expensive than alcoholic ones and I presume you still charged her for the alcoholic ones even though she wasn't getting any and took a bigger tip. So again, YTA. Ask next time instead of making an assumption." ⏤ laurabell114

Quite rightly, more than a few people pointed out that, "If you don't want to serve her, don't serve her, but don't try to trick her for her own good."

I mean, this person could have talked to their manager about the potential issue, or even tried to raise the issue with the person that they were serving, depending on the manner in which they broached the subject. However, the fact of this person playing covert agent and making it appear as though they are fulfilling a hero-complex when there are other, less deceitful, ways to handle the situation comes across as a little...well, asshole-y!

Furthermore, unless they told her to do a pregnancy test then and there, they have no way of knowing if she is pregnant!

Sure, the idea of trying to not serve a pregnant person alcohol is sound in theory, as everyone knows that you absolutely should not drink during pregnancy, but they didn't know she was pregnant! And yes, I'm sure there will be some people saying, "Well, back in my day you could drink lighter fluid and throw yourself into a volcano each morning when pregnant! You can't do anything these days!" but frankly, quiet down.

One person wrote, "She sucks for obvious reasons, you suck because you had no way to prove she was [pregnant], you altered her drink without informing her, and you made a big decision without speaking to your manager." But, that's exactly the point. She doesn't "suck" unless she was pregnant, which she may not have been!

Look, if there is one thing that I may consider myself an expert on, it's the prices of alcoholic drinks in bars and restaurants thanks to years of, well...research! Although, you don't need to be an expert like me to know that mixed drinks and alcoholic cocktails can be far from cheap!

This was a point echoed by one financially motivated user who fervently wrote, "Mixed drinks are expensive and the fact that you [were] going to change the check is also really sh**ty."

Yes, our protagonist's initial assertation of "I have waited tables for the last three years," did nothing to dissuade hordes of other service employees from pointing out their error, with one manager even writing:

"I've spent most of my working years in food service, and half of that time has been in management. If I was your manager, I would've fired you on the spot. While I agree that pregnant women shouldn't be drinking, you NEVER change a customer's order without their consent. If you had an issue with her drinking, you should have taken it to your manager and let her deal with the situation."

The internet loves bringing together people of differing viewpoints to politely discuss...wait, no sorry, to furiously scream at one another. Although, a few people did calmly get their points across in defense of the waiter, with one user writing:

"If [it's] okay for bartenders to cut off customers they think are too drunk, is this really that far from it? Making it a virgin drink [isn't] a huge change, people saying they messed with a customers order make it sound like they made something with gluten when asked for gluten free."

Although, as opposed to confronting someone and cutting them off, the waiter in question here just flat-out lied to the poor woman in the story. Hardly heroic, despite the waiter's desperate attempts to be.

One user commented, "[Okay], I'm a woman. I don't think it's an asshole thing to do [...] I'm actually kinda surprised it's not illegal to serve alcohol to a pregnant person," which inspired quite the flurry of responses.

Mostly, people were telling this person that the waiter should "mind [their] own business," a phrase which was thrown around more and more frequently the longer the debate raged on!

Ultimately, the Reddit thread officially bestowed upon the waiter the official title of "Asshole." But that didn't stop a few stalwarts trying to hold back the swell of asshole-decreeing Redditors like King Canute trying to hold back the tide!

Yes, sadly there was the inevitable screaming, swearing morality police here to set everyone straight from their unique position of often having zero actual life experience relating to what is being discussed. In amongst the more calm discussion were such delightful opinions as ⏤ oh, and I've had to cut some of the truly violent language, but I find it helps if you read this one to yourself in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried:

"The woman is an asshole [...] and your manager is an asshole for verbally abusing you. You probably should have simply refused to serve [her] but that probably still got you abused by your asshole manager. Look for another job, no one deserved to be screamed at until the screamer is hoarse. Mature, professional managers don’t behave that way."

Okay, so yeah, maybe people shouldn't scream at other people until they're hoarse ⏤ which feels a little disingenuous coming from this person, but whatever. However, I think that this person just needs to have a cup of herbal tea, and maybe go for a walk and calm down, babe.

I can't say that I can find anything to say to this waiter other than, "Yeah, you were the asshole here, maybe not due to your intentions, but due to your staggeringly boneheaded, insensitive, and milk-churningly ill-thought-out way of dealing with this quite simple situation!"

But, that's enough from me sadly, and I can feel your heart bleeding at that information. However, let me know what you make of this situation in the comments. I know that everyone will completely agree with me though, as to not do so would be crazy... Right?