People Are Sharing The Dumbest Arguments They've Had With Their Partners

Kasia Mikolajczak
man and a woman arguing
Unsplash | Afif Kusuma

I don't know about you, but I don't like to argue with my partner. Unfortunately, it happens sometimes to the best of us. In our case, it mostly revolves around something pretty trivial, and it spirals out of control, haha.

So when I recently stumbled upon this Reddit thread that asked, "What's the dumbest argument you've ever had with your SO?" I was intrigued. Let's see what small things other people end up fighting over with their significant others.

This Dream

woman sleeping in bed on white sheets
Unsplash | Kinga Cichewicz

"She got pissed at me because 'I' was mean to her in a dream."

Here's another funny one. Like the guy had control over what he supposedly did to his partner in her dream, haha. It's a good one, no?

This Mayo Bandit

silver spoon
Unsplash | Anna Kumpan

"My ex loved to use a spoon to get the mayo on his bread rather than a knife. It drove me bonkers. Hands down the dumbest argument we ever had."

I wish I was there for that fight, lol.

This Garlic Fight

two women laughing
Giphy | Insecure on HBO

"My husband, when ordering garlic bread, would ask for a 'thing' of garlic bread. Not a loaf, or a serving, or a piece, but a 'thing.' It gnawed at my insides, but I swallowed my rage because I knew it was unimportant. I kept quiet about it until one lunch at a cafe when I couldn't handle it anymore. This resulted in a spirited argument about the correct unit of measurement for garlic bread, with such phrases as 'do you [expletive] want me to order a [expletive] cubit of garlic bread then? A [expletive] bushel?'"

Oh my goodness!

This Display Of Incompetence

bread toast with knife and butter
Pexels | Pexels

"I once yelled at my ex for buttering his toast incorrectly. He got crumbs everywhere and like barely any butter on his bread and it was just a horrible display of incompetence. Perhaps a metaphor???"

I can see now why he's her ex.

This Thanksgiving Fight

Thanksgiving dinner
Pexels | Pexels

"We got into a huge blow-out over Thanksgiving. Apparently, two potatoes were too much to add to the green beans. It should have been one and a half. My mistake."

Yes, own up to that one, haha. I say the more food, the better, no?

This Adult Argument

Giphy | Ice Breakers

"I got into a heated argument about unicorns while I was out at a restaurant with my husband.

In retrospect, two thirty-something gay men arguing about unicorns was probably the most fabulous it is humanly possible to be."

That must've been fabulous to watch, haha.

This Fight Over Tater Tots

person holding food tray with tater tots and pancake
Unsplash | Nathan Dumlao

"I got pissed and screamed at my ex one time for eating my sonic tater tots while I was driving without asking. It was probably the most heated argument we had and he never let me live it down."

I wonder if they still buy tater tots?

This Solid Argument

woman looking confused
Giphy | Harlem

"My ex and I would always get into arguments because I wasn't mean enough/yell at her enough/fight with her. This meant that I didn't care about her..."

What? That's crazy. It sounds like the ex just wanted to have a heated argument and didn't even care what it was all about.

This Familiar Issue

interior of a restaurant
Unsplash | shawnanggg

"This conversation probably once a week with the SO: SO: I'm hungry. Me: Where do you want to eat? SO: I don't care, you pick. Me: How about dining option #1? SO: I hate that place Me: Well, we can always go to dining option #2? SO: No, you know I can't stand their food. Me: Hmmm, fine maybe dining option #3? SO: I am not really feeling their food...just pick a place. Me: For god's sake I don't know! SO: Why are you getting upset? I said I don't care where we eat."

Does that happen to you too?

This Knife Argument

different knifes on a plate
Unsplash | Tracey Hocking

"I got into an argument with my boyfriend because he said that table knives are known as butter knives. I grew up with a very obvious distinction between table knives (laid next to your plate, used for cutting everything except maybe tough meat) and butter knives (used for butter and maybe soft cheese) so I thought for the longest time he was kidding and got offended when I found out that he thought I was kidding because he had never heard of "table knives" before. To me, it was completely impossible that a table knife and a butter knife could ever be conflated, and I thought he was being purposefully obtuse.

"We were in the car at the time and couldn't look it up. Later when we got home, we found out that the official cutlery designation is table knife, but they are sometimes informally called butter knives despite "butter knife" (i.e. a butter spreader) being its own thing. So I was probably slightly more right than he was, but he still had a point. To date, it's the most serious argument we've ever had."

Oh, my!

This Arnold Hater

Arnold Schwarzenegger saying "I'll be back."

"I might win at this. A week or so before our wedding (and just a few months after we met...) my wife made some flippant comment about how Schwarzenegger is a horrible human being and she hates him, literally hates him. This was in 2003, right before election season. We're in Illinois at the time, so the Kah-lee-forn-yuh gubernatorial race has no impact on our lives at all.

We got into a 'well [expletive] you, I'm not marrying you!' argument that lasted 3 days because I simply couldn't fathom hating someone so deeply that you hadn't ever met — even though I myself hate many people I've never met with such equal loathing (such as every member of the Bush family).

"Yeah, stupid as hell, and she still brings it up 9 years later, every now and again. But she does it really slyly like, on the way to go pick up our daughter at school she says, 'I'll be back' in the slightest impression of Arnold."

I love that fight.

This Food Fight

chicken soup in a bowl
Unsplash | Stacey Doyle

"One of the biggest fights my SO and I had occurred while he was sick. My boyfriend hadn't eaten all day, so when I got home from work I offered to go pick him up some soup. I was going to get the soup from a restaurant, and he insisted that I get something for myself. I'd already eaten dinner and didn't want any more food, so I said no.

"Him: 'Well think of somewhere where you want something.'

Me: 'But I'm not hungry. Let me just get you some soup.'

Him: 'No, I don't want you to have to go out just for my sake!'

"It ended up with him getting pissed because I didn't want food and me having a meltdown because he wouldn't let me pamper him with some goddamn soup. We both tried going to bed angry, but failed at that and talked it out instead. The night closed with us getting Wendy's (I ate a compromise-burger) and make-up cuddles."

Well, at least they ate and made up.

This Earth-Shattering Argument

four rollers with paint on a wall
Unsplash | David Pisnoy

"I'm so amazingly late to the party but I can actually participate in this one. We got in a fight (or several) over whether or not a wall would taste like a wall or like paint. In short, it really came down to does something taste like its components or does its taste as a whole."

Oh, yeah, that's such an earth-shattering argument. Am I right?

This Oreo Fixation

stack of Oreos on a countertop
Unsplash | Anna Tukhfatullina Food Photographer/Stylist

"My wife got pissed at me cause, over the course of my day off, I ate 2 of the 3 rows of Oreos from the package. There was still a whole roll for her but I guess that wasn't good enough. I didn't help matters when I pointed out that if she is going to buy double stuffed, she ought to buy at least two packages. God damn Oreos. So good. So evil."

I'm shaking my head now.

The Beginning Of The End

Heidi Klum saying "Wow"
Giphy | Lifetime

"My ex-husband was getting ready for work one day and our dog had gotten a diaper out of the trash can and tore it up in front of the area of the bedroom he kept all of his work things. He told me to go clean it up. I told him to do it himself. We fought to the point that I went outside for a smoke, and he locked me out until he finished getting ready for work. When he let me back in, he told me 'I want you and your daughter (also his daughter) out of MY apartment before I get home.' It literally was the beginning of our 6-month divorce.

"It is hilarious to me now, all these years later, that after the horror that was our relationship...years of him cheating on me, fighting, drinking, throwing our money out the refusing to clean up a diaper is what finally ended it all."

Wow, I don't know quite what to say here.

This Shopping Fail

woman holding a shopping basket filled with produce
Unsplash | Liuba Bilyk

"One time we argued about shopping baskets. We went to the supermarket to buy 4 things according to him. So I said we didn't need a shopping basket. In the end, we ended up buying more and he whined at me about the fact we did not get a shopping basket. It ended up with both getting mad at each other because of a basket. Up to today we still laugh about it, but back then it got very bad."

No more shopping baskets for this couple, haha.

This Cabbage Incident

green cabbage
Unsplash | Shelley Pauls

[Expletive] cabbage. We were at the store picking up some groceries. She grabbed a big 'ol head of cabbage. I said, 'we still have a half-head of cabbage in the fridge.' She went [expletive] ballistic about how I never let her buy the foods she wants to eat and how much she has to suffer because I don't like the same things as her. Full-on meltdown in the produce section, people were staring. My kids were mortified, they still refer to it as the 'cabbage fight' and get really nervous anytime cabbage is brought up in conversation. To this day, she thinks her outrage was justified and any mention of the incident will ruin the day. We now always have a [expletive]-ton of cabbage in the fridge."

OMG, I'm dying here.

This Argument Starter

woman laughing and spilling her coffee

"Well, sadly, we got into an argument about which argument of ours was the dumbest after I asked her to help me answer this question. That new argument ranks as the dumbest and our personal argument BCS rankings just got reshuffled."

OMG, haha!

Whoa, those were silly arguments, no?

couple arguing in the kitchen
Pexels | Pexels

I have to admit this happens to me and my partner all the time. We end up arguing over the stupidest things ever. And then it ends up being a full-blown fight. I'm not proud of this fact, but it happens, haha. What was the silliest thing you fought over with your significant other?