20 Lifehacks That May Technically Work, But Are Also Really Stupid

Ashley Hunte
A pair of boots with plastic bags full of water in them
Reddit | Iwanttoplaytoo

A good lifehack can really change your life. At the very least, it can make your day go by a little bit better.

But let's face it, there are a lot of "lifehacks" out there that are... really dumb. Like, sure, they work. But they're also plain stupid.

And yes, the lifehacks in this list are exactly like that. I can't really say I'd recommend trying any of them.

"Buy a can of cold brew at the store and leave it in your hot car... for hot coffee on the go!"

A can of cold brew coffee, opened, set in the cup holder of a car.
Reddit | ShaiLebOof

Alternate title: Forget that you left a can of cold brew in your hot car and pretend you did it on purpose. Technically, it's still coffee, whether it's hot or cold. And really, no one's going to notice (or care).

Every calorie counts!

A Tweet from an account called @BadHealthAdvice, saying, "Remember: taking the vegetables off your double bacon cheeseburger decreases the amount of calories consumed.
Reddit | AnimeusPrime

I mean, sure, if you take off the vegetables, you'll consume fewer calories. But considering the fact that the vegetables are the only healthy parts of a burger, you should probably leave those on.

Good thing the tweet is a joke.

"Leave the empty roll after you’re done so the next time you use the toilet you’ll remember you need to replace the roll."

A toilet paper roll holder with an empty toilet paper roll on it, against a blank wall.
Reddit | MTBinAR

Ah yes. Eventually, you will remember to change the toilet paper roll. Here's hoping you don't accidentally wait until it's a little too late. And, here's hoping you don't live alone...

If you don't wear any clothes, you can't get your pockets picked!

An old, run down wall with text that says, "The naked man fears no pickpocket!" Witten in marker.
reddit | Gurtek86

Technically, that's very true, but what's also true is the fact that there are very few places where you can walk around fully nude and not get, like, arrested or something.

There are also very few people in the world willing to do this anyway.

How to fix your holey socks without actually fixing your holey socks:

Three images. The first shows a foot with a black sock on it, with a hole in the big toe section. The second picture shows a bare foot with marker drawn on the toenail, and a marker next to the foot. The third picture shows the foot wearing the same sock from the first picture, this time with the black marker on the toe to give the illusion that the sock doesn't have a hole in it.
reddit | Fearless_Jellyfish79

Why try to mend a holey sock when you can just cover your toe in marker instead? It sure beats going out and buying new socks, right?

Right?

Actually, this one won't work at all.

A picture of the side of a laptop with a slice of red onion sticking out of the CD drive. Text on the right side of the picture reads, "A slice of red onion in your DVD drive is an all-natural way of protecting your computer against viruses."
Reddit | LifeHacksMe

I mean, if you're afraid of your computer getting sick (and it's old enough to still have a CD drive), this probably wouldn't hurt (okay, who am I kidding, yes it would).

In terms of computer viruses, this is pretty useless. God, I hope it's a joke.

Want to eat eggs, but hate the taste? Just make a cake!

A meme with text that reads "Eggs are really healthy and should be the foundation of your diet. Don't like the taste? Add cacao, butter, flour, and bake for 30 minutes." Four images underneath the text depict eggs, cake batter, and a slice of chocolate cake.
reddit | Lordofthebored92

You know what? It doesn't say anything about sugar? So sure, the eggs won't be as healthy in cake form, and you're basically just eating cake at this point. But there's no sugar, which means that cake is going to taste like egg and bitter cocoa powder. Yuck.

Trick people into thinking you're wearing shoes by... wearing shoes?

A picture of a person with a shoe on. The shoe is missing the bottom, revealing a bare foot that's black with dirt.
reddit | Belevigis

I think it would be way easier to just wear shoes. For one thing, you wouldn't have to go through all the effort. Plus, you wouldn't have gross feet all the time.

I don't even want to think about what would happen if this guy walked into a public bathroom...

"Weary of post shower fogged mirror?"

A bathroom mirror covered in fog on either end, but clear in the middle. The reflection in the mirror shows several lit candles.
Reddit | skwyre

There are definitely easier ways to deal with a foggy bathroom mirror. Like a fan. Or one of those anti-fog mirrors. Or wiping it with a towel. Pretty much anything that doesn't have the risk of burning your house down.

And this helps how, exactly?

Tweet that reads, "Did you know that you can buy fake teeth online and just glue them to whatever the hell you want?" Pics show a lighter with fake teeth glued to it.
Reddit | k2ap3l2fr

Sure, you can go ahead and do this to your heart's content. But...why? Why would anyone want to own stuff with a bunch of fake teeth glued to them?

"Put chopsticks underneath the fish (probably works with other food as well) you are cooking so it doesn’t stick to the pan or the paper."

A piece of cooked fish with spices and herbs on top, sitting on top of several chopsticks and parchment paper.
reddit | Sardzoski

On one hand, this is kind of clever. On the other hand, you could just spray a little bit of oil on the parchment paper before putting the fish on, and it'll literally do the same thing. Plus, it'd be less stuff to wash.

I mean, it'll actually work, at least.

A person holding a wooden plank with two tv remotes attached to it with zip ties.
Reddit | Gynieinabottle

Yeah, it's pretty silly. But if this is what it takes to keep track of your remotes, then maybe we should all be tying our remotes to planks of wood. It can't be any worse than digging through the couch every 30 seconds.

"You know, for those perfectly terrible bangs."

An old Scotch tape ad, showing you how to trim fringe bangs using the clear tape as a guide.
Reddit | Brute1100

I can only imagine that every kid whose parents used tape to cut their hair like this probably got made fun of a lot in school. I can't imagine the end result would've looked nice. Hilarious, probably, but not nice.

How to dupe porch pirates and get rid of unwanted junk at the same time:

I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to try this one. Too bad we can't see the faces of the people who steal these packages, when they find out the stuff they stole was just junk.

"Preheat your boots with hot tap water into long English Muffin bags while you eat the muffins for breakfast."

A pair of boots, each with a clear plastic bag, full of warm water, sticking out of them.
Reddit | Iwanttoplaytoo

Talk about multitasking.

I mean, sure, it'll work. But I'd be too afraid of the bags breaking, leaving my boots soaked from the inside. In the end, does it really save you that much time?

For when you don't want to spend money on the real deal.

Meme that reads "DIY smoke detector." A package of stovetop popcorn hangs on the wall on top of a door frame.
Reddit | HeyManItsaPogoBall

I feel like I should probably say that you need working smoke detectors in your house. You can't lifehack yourself a cheap one.

That being said, I just snorted at this picture.

"Couldn't find a straw. I did have a length of PEX tubing though."

A person holding a cup of iced coffee. The "straw" in the cup is actually a red PEX pipe for plumbing.
reddit | Raspootin

I'm just glad that it wasn't already being used for anything else. And of course, a piece of PEX tubing is sort of like a straw. But looking at this is still making my heart hurt a little. Hope it was properly washed first.

The smartest way to save money.

Facebook post for a joke advice group. One person asks, "How to save money for a down payment for a house?" The top reply reads, "Stop buying groceries. Just download a dating app and go on 3+ dates daily. Order a lot of food. It is crucial that you ALWAYS forget your wallet."
Reddit | infamouszgbgd

If you have this kind of drive, you could probably make it work. I think just being smart with your budget would be a lot easier, though.

Imagine going on three different dates a day, though...

When you want to trick people into thinking your cat is actually an egg.

Look, no one's going to stop you from doing this (except maybe the cat). But at the end of the day, this is probably the most pointless hack in existence.

I mean, they aren't wrong.

Two tubes of tennis balls. One tube has half balls stacked on top of each other. Text in the middle reads, "Cutting your tennis balls in half allows you to store 2 more balls in each can, saving space."
Reddit | Daddylongle

This is an especially good hack for people who don't actually want to use any of those tennis balls. After all, they're basically useless when they've been cut in half.

Anything to save space, though!